10. Thought the house was too orderly
9. Never did like having a full nights sleep
8. Wanted my Vet to get a new BMW
7. Thought the furniture looked too nice
6. Love the sounds of puppies in the morning, noon, afternoon, evening, midnight, pre-dawn, etc.
5. Garden and backyard needed renovations, and didn't want to pay a gardener.
4. Neighbors didn't complain enough
3. Kids weren't enough of a challenge
2. If you can train & show one dog, why not ten .
1. To see if your spouse really meant his vows.
You Know You're A Dog Person When....
You buy stock in a paper towel factory.
Your jewelry box contains no jewels--just those fasteners for attaching show cards.
Every time you read the name Bob, you think the guy's first name isBest-of-Breed.
You ask your vet if you can ride in her sports car sometime.
Your house isn't carpeted--the furry fuzzballs under your feet are soft enough.
Your hungry hubby comes home from work, lifts the cover of a pan on the stove and says "Is this people or dog food?"
Your hungry hubby once ate the dog stew and asked for seconds.
Your mother-in-law keeps asking when you're going to have children.
You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on your dog to give a quick run-through on your own hair.
At your dinner parties, you always double-check the butter before putting it on the table.
You put important papers in your latest issue of your breed magazine, you KNOW you will find them there.
You have dog hair stuck on tape on wrapped gifts.
You have dog treats/toys in your briefcase.
You have several albums filled with 8 x 10 pictures of your dogs but you can't locate any pictures of your kids to send to Grandma.
You show up at the car dealers with a ruler, to measure and see if your big dog crate will fit.
You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby.
You absentmindly pat your husband on the head instead of hugging him.
You remove all of the seats from the van except the 2 in front so you have room for the crates. the passenger seat is full of dog stuff.
You cringe at the cost of food in the grocery store but think nothing of buying dog toys and treats.
You have 6 squeaky hedgehogs, 1 with squeaker still working
You ignore babies but are drawn to puppies
You are pickier about the shampoo you use on the dog then the one you use.
You have a show lead, a pair of cordless clippers and thinning shears in your handbag.
You put popcorn into a clean dog dish for movie night .
You pull out your credit card, and little bits of liver are stuck to it.
You don't mind hair in your food as long as it's not human!
When you buy a new van "for the dogs".
When you get your latest roll of film developed and there isn't a single picture of a two legged person in the bunch.
Every article you knit always has little pieces of dog hair knit into it, even when it's not supposed to.
Friends no longer ask "how was your weekend?" they ask "how did the dogs do?"
When someone asks you how many dogs you have now, and you never give a straight answer!
You tell your husband that if the beds too crowded because you have four large Bullies in it, that he *might* be able to find room on the couch.
You're phone bill is $900.00 and all the calls were to dog people, none to familly!
One of your greatest desires is to win the lottery so that you can build that kennel/house that you designed two years ago. Oh yes and buy that motor home and spend the rest of your days away showing dogs!
You don't go to the doctor, but your at the vet weekly!
You eat rice without chicken for dinner so that the poor puppy who had the runs two days ago can have rice with chicken.
You get furious with your husband for leaving his socks on the floor even though the living room is littered with toys, stuffed animal stuffing, crates, premium lists, shredded paper from the puppy, dog brushes, grooming table, blow dryer and oops... maybe the puppy isn't quite all the way potty trained.
If Dogs Made The Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
Where Dogs Are Better Than Men
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it )
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs are color blind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Where Men are better than Dogs
Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little bit more subtle.
Men don't eat turds on the sly.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men don't molt as much, and if they do, they hide it.
It's fun to dry off a wet man.
Where Men & Dogs Are The Same
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
Neither does any dishes.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.
Things I Can Learn From A Dog
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends.
Bond with your pack.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.